That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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