dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
