cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
