Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
