Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
