okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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