you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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