So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
