I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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