just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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