didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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