No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
