Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
