kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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