rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
