I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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