There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
