you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
