dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
