You can't special order awesome
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
