I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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