About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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