i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i already hear my dad disowning me
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
