Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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