Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
