No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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