just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
