He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
