Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
