You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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