Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
