i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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