Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
