put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
