If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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