so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
