Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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