i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
