I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
