Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
