About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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