Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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