Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
