the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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