that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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