glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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