giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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