Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
