I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have post one night stand depression
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