I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
drinking out of a sandbucket again
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
