I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
