ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
