Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
