no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
