come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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