drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
