its not stalking. its research.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
